Buddha has finally smiled.........

It's said, smile and the world smiles with you.........

But what if you grin....... smirk or laugh....... guffaw?

I suppose it's all relative really................. inbreeding can result in manically grinning individuals

Smiling can result in mirroring (NOT related to rimming..... unless you smile at the wrong... or possibly right person), making new friends....... making new unwanted friends, being asked if you have wind, being asked 'Are you looking at me? ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?'. It can be inappropriate, irritating........ that Customer Service smile as they tell you they're sorry you won't be receiving your goods this week for the umpteenth time that year...... but they are sorry and empathise with you, 'one may smile, and smile and be a villain', hearing the words You haven't lost your smile at all, it's right under your nose. You just forgot it was there can simply remind people that they have a fist and perhaps what it can be used for........ ahhh yes, thanks for that

The author Doug Horton is supposed to have said Smile, it's better than a poke in the eye........ but thanks to information i've been subjected to at work in medical informatics, i'm asking is a grin better than an itch in your groin?

Well, of COURSE it is, i hear you cry....... obviously perplexed by my train of thought, or should that be lack of it

But here's the rub......... and if you're extremely unlucky, it will be literal....... what if the grin was the itch in your groin?

These questions are not the result of opiate abuse or schizoid paranoia...... they are due to a photograph i had the misfortune to have to trace whilst at work. To be honest, i can't actually remember what the information search was originally for...... all i DO remember is that what i found, put me off my professional stride..... and ensured i wasted more than an hour puzzling over nature, life and if there was someone up there, having a laugh at our expense....

One of the pictures i had to find was of pubic lice....... or in the vernacular........ crabs

I still remember being incredibly disturbed by the close up image of the little parasitic blood sucking insect..... what made it more disturbing and still upsets me is that it was clasping at a solitary hair...... and only an uneducated person would assume that it was a hair on a persons head........... but no no..... even lice have their own specialities and fields of interest....... am just not sure if the ladder of promotion would be upwards or downwards....... wonder which speciality experiences the most job satisfaction.......

The mug shots of these intrepid little workers allow no misconceptions....... the pubic lice are definitely the most content.....

How do i know?

Because........

They're smiling

......to smile and smile and be a villain.......

The thought that i could get infected with a genital parasite was bad enough....... but knowing that it could be grinning at the same time, was, and still is, profoundly trepidating

I have pointed out the 'grin' for those that can't see the obvious

Now, am i totally deluded or does it have a face and it's vertitably chorting??

Having stared long and hard at that last photo for hours, astounded by the preposterousness of what i saw...... i began to realise that i'd seen that deceptively jovial grin elsewhere....... and after much furtive grappling through the possessions i'd accumulated over the last 39 yrs..... i found it.... proof that the world was that step closer to the apocalypse...... our armageddon....

The Smiling Buddha was the first nuclear test explosion by India on May 18 1974 at Pokhran. Throughout its development, the device was formally called the "Peaceful nuclear explosive" but it was usually referred to as the Smiling Buddha.

The then-PM Indira Gandhi was not present at Pokran so as to keep this operation confidential till last minute. In her full cabinet only her NSA and private secretary knew about it. On May 18, 1974, when the blast occurred successfully, Dr Ramanna wanted to tell this news to the Prime Minister, who was miles away in Delhi.

The hotline was not working, so he went to a nearby village and called her from an ordinary landline and said..............

Madam, Buddha has finally smiled

Now if i was more of the paranoid, prone to believing conspiracy theories type of person.......... or the sort that is fatalistic, perhaps believes that we are merely puppets being strung along by the mystical whims of others......

............ would i still be smiling?