My brother.... the Alien Hunter........

While it's not the case that i don't believe in possible life forms existing somewhere other than on Earth..... i do have a reasonable level of scepticism as far as alien abductions are concerned..... cattle mutilation, human experimentation and crop circles are all on my 'pie in the sky' list........ but my brother, Mo, absorbs himself the websites, books, magazines, videos, DVDs and CONFERENCES!!! that abound on the subject...... and i know he believes..... and watches the videos over and over........ religiously.....
Its hard to get anything other than a 'grunt' from him on any other topic of conversation...... but mention MOON LANDING and his eyes light up and his enthusiasm is only beaten by the introduction of a Walnut Whip into his line of vision........ but then they do look a little like UFOs.....

Apparently....... things have got even more exciting at his end this week........ my brother...... the Alien Hunter...... has been 'contacted'......

Its behind you........

He received a text msg on his phone...... it said:

110110111101101

111011011110

110110111101101

111011010001

It would appear he replied with a simple:

Who r u?

Nothing came back immediately.. but the next day, yesterday, his phone bleeped with a:

111001101

which our hero replied to with a:

Hello

His more friendly approach was responded to, today, with the best so far......

111110 111110

111110 00110111 0

111110 111110

111110 00110111 0

111001 H E L L O

111001 111001

111110 111110

111110 00110111 0

His reply, again, was a simple......

Who r u?

Whereas, this seemed to have provoked a more animated response from the unknown 'alien' (?) texter:

1111001

001010 001000

1101011 1111001

001010 001000

1101011 1111001

001010 0010001101011Who are you? Who are you? Who are you1111001001010 001000

Its obviously all very strange.. and he must be taking it quite seriously...... since he hasn't mentioned these enigmatic texts to me or anyone else...... so far.......

So....... in that case........ how do i know about them?

Well....... it could be because we've been sending them!

Now when i say 'we'....... i'm NOT referring to me and the alien nation...... it's actually me and my great friend 'The Disciple'..... who has entered into the 'game' with great gusto!

The next stage will be an email attack....... but 'we' think the texts from on high still have plenty of scope for 'fun'......... well... fun for us anyway.

Now you're probably thinking......................... but WHY?

The reasons are many but the ones that count are;

• He needs to be brought back to deal with things in reality....
• He has everything done for him........ & if he spent less time watching those darned videos he just MIGHT have more time to do them HIMSELF
• He takes the topic too seriously..... when there are other things in his more immediate life.... under his sodding nose...... that he needs to do or he'll end up dying like poor Aldo.... if i don't kill him first that is
• Because we can
• We're evil
• Its great fun!!

Lesson to be learned?

Beware the woman hard done by............... men get aggressive and violent...

Women get even.

BURN THE WITCH!!

You know hundreds of years ago........ women (and the odd man) were burned at the stake or drowned for being witches...... now of course they weren't witches, since they don't exist...... well not in the mystical, evil and magical sense anyway..... but the monstrous murder cum execution of women happened regardless thanks to a hysterical and sometimes political reaction to the different.
Now these people were singled out by their behaviour, their beliefs and sometimes what was referred to as physical abnormalities......

One of these was the possession of a third nipple.... or a blemish on the body that could be construed as the mark of the devil. The third nipple was accredited to the use of suckling the witch's familiar........ usually a cat....... black of course, just to add more ludicrous melodrama to the whole affair.

Now........ why am i even mentioning this....... while it is significant socio-historically....... what the hell is it doing in my blog?

Mmmmmmmm....... well, this is NOT my confession... and i am NOT about to divulge that i've been a witch for the past 30 yrs and accusations don't count... so there!
But i was getting changed recently...... and as i removed my top, i noticed something that stopped me in my tracks.....
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and here's the photo.......

Now you're probably thinking... ooer! what a slut!! Flashing her breast on the internet for all to see *eek*!

Now shame on all of you for thinking that! As if i would........ Everyone who's met me knows that i'm a total innocent and would never stoop to a level that would besmirch the good name of medical librarians the world over..... i can hear you laughing from here so stop it right now

So why the flashing of the breast flesh now?

Perhaps this image may help to clarify things.......

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Note the belly button.......

So the 'third nipple' is actually an extremely bad bruise........ from my last copaxone injection....... it had bled a lot when i'd done it and was expecting a bruise of sorts........ but never in my wildest dreams (well.......... wild for an innocent medical librarian, of course) was i prepared for the apparition when i raised my top that morning......... i ran about the house showing people saying Look! doesn't it look like a nipple?? In the past i would have been accused of being a witch.....

At which point i lost people......... apart from my brother who i heard mutter.....you ARE a witch.......at least i think he said witch.......

The lesson to be learnt?

Things aren't always what they seem......... especially in photographs........

and perhaps even more so.........

with medical librarians.........

The Dim Sum Chicken Claw moment........

It was one of those special moments...... Dim Sum restaurant......... friends.... camcorder......... delicious food........ and the ordering of Chicken Feet, a chinese delicacy.......

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Two people had them and since i'd already eaten frogs legs in the distant past........ i was up to the challenge when ridiculed for not even tasting the chicken claws, i mean feet... but then i had to live with the memory of chickens scrambling in the dirt on my grandmother's farm in Italy and i was reluctant to put one of those in my mouth........

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With the You've had worse in your mouth before heckles in my ears...... i gathered up my pride and stepped over the line...........

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The whole claw and nothing but the claw....

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The biggest bit i was willing to eat......... in my bowl......... the tip

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I can do this........... even gritted teeth weren't going to stop me now

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Too late.........

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Uh oh! It's in my mouth now........... do i taste it? Or just swallow?

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I think the jelly-like texture of the skin and the cracking of the bone between my teeth was just turning the gag reflex into the more natural vomit reflex at this point.....

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Thank god for Saki........ and it's ability to wash away the sins of the world and hopefully wash away the memory as well.........

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Now if only i can drink enough for that.........

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The Saki seems to have had some effect......... or maybe i'm just relieved to have managed to swallow without vomiting........

but then i wouldn't be the first woman to have been relieved by that thought....

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And at this point i seem to be dredging up memories about past lovers?

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But this memory seems to be better than the last.............

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Ah no..... I'd been describing the chicken claws...... the grasping little feet....

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And then i was asked THE question........... would you like another piece of juicy chicken claw?

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I'll let you decide what the answer was.......

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Ahhhhhhhhh memories............

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The lesson learned was that it's sometimes better to swallow your pride rather than the chicken claw........

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